Life, the Internet, and Everything!

Surprising Search Engines Optimization Techniques

English: White hat seo symbolizes good ethic t... Anyone who has tried to rank a website always asks this question:

What Does Google Want?

Some of the answers can be surprising. We keep hearing all of these do-don’t-do pieces of advice from all over the web, but how reliable are they really? Is there a “formula” for ranking? Here’s a couple hints from some SEO-savvy blogs that use very detailed metrics to show, in a “normalized” way, what current tops sites use to keep their rankings. SearchMetrics Produced a New Infographic that outlines several factors you may not have taken into account.

  1. Branding. The bigger brand, the better (and the easier). Most of the big brands have a big social presence (as you would expect), and Google sees it. This means their actual websites dont; necessarily have to be “perfect”, or even that good. They can survive on reputation alone. Lesson: If you’re not a big brand, and if you don’t have s super spectacular websites, make sure you make your social presence known. (Hint: Google+)
  2. Social Media. See #1.
  3. Backlinks and Headings (and keywords.. oh my). H1 headings (and titles) have always been the most prominent on-page SEO factors. Now, Google seems to be – not discounting, but at least de-emphasizing keywords when found in H1 headings. So, what does this mean? It means that great article you titled using all of the best keywords related to your topic, may not have the oomph it once had. And, the title length is problematic now – too long of a title is not good. Lesson: Keep it simple. Use simple keywords and keep the title short. Don’t try to oversell your title. And, keep up the backlinking. Just do it as naturally as you can.
  4. Exact Match Domains. This is a tough one. Keywords in your domains should be there for a reason – to describe, to the visitor, what your domain is about. It doesn’t really matter if there is less of an SEO boost with EMD now, does it? If your site is about “picnic baskets”, wouldn’t still be the best option? Lesson: Use keyword-rich domain names when possible. But, don’t expect it to be an SEO panacea.
  5. Quality Content. Sigh. We’re back to this again. One “guru” says quality doesn’t matter, another one says its the “cat’s pajamas”. Since Google is always monitoring bounce rates and time on site, it just makes sense to conclude that if you have crappy content, you’re losing visitors. I vote on the side of at least trying to make your content worthwhile and interesting. Lesson: Try to make you site something you’d like to visit and read.

SEO 2013

An SEO “Formula”?

Unfortunately, these tips are far from being a “formula”. The common SEO suggestions still stand the test of time:

  • Readable title based on interesting keywords (H1 tag)
  • Other heading tags scattered around the content. Also bold and italics
  • Good content with well placed images
  • Pay attention to social signals
  • Appropriate backlinks
SEE ALSO  Business Niche - Adding Content for SEO

Keep these in mind when you are writing a blog post. Other than that, it’s just all smoke and mirrors.

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    • Dylan
    • December 31, 2013

    Can I Use My Social Security Number To Get My Permit? I don’t have my birth certificate or a valid passport, all I have is my Social Security NUMBER and I want to get my permit in California. Could I get it with just the number?

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      • Admin
      • December 31, 2013

      Yes but you also need one of these if you dont have any of these you should get your birth certificate through I got mine there very easy and cheap arrived very quickly too

      Only the original or a certified copy of one of the following documents is acceptable:

      US Birth Certificate (certified copy from state or local vital statistics office)
      US Certificate of Birth Abroad or Report of Birth Abroad
      Federal Proof of Indian Blood Degree
      USCIS American Indian Card
      Birth Certificate or passport issued from a US Territory
      US Passport or US Passport Card
      US Military Identification Cards (Active or reserve duty, dependent of a military member, retired member, discharged from service, medical/religious personnel)
      Common Access Card (only if designated as Active military or Active Reserve or Active Selected Reserve)
      Certificate of Naturalization or Citizenship
      Northern Mariana Card
      USCIS US Citizen ID Card
      Permanent Resident Card
      Temporary Resident Identification Card
      Canadian Passport/Birth Certificate
      Non-resident Alien Canadian Border Crossing Card
      Valid foreign passport with a valid Record of Arrival/Departure (form I-94)
      “Processed for I-551” stamped in a valid foreign passport
      Permanent Resident Re-entry Permit
      Refugee travel document
      Certified court order or judgment issued from a court of competent jurisdiction. Must contain name, birth date, place of birth, legal presence status, and judge's signature.
      Certification from California Department of Corrections or California Youth Authority
      Employment Authorization Card
      Valid I-94 stamped “Refugee,” “Parole or Parolee,” “Asylee,” or Section 207, Section 208, Section 209, Section 212d(2), HP or PIP
      Valid I-94 with attached photo stamped “Processed for I-551 temporary evidence of lawful admission for permanent residence”
      Notice of Action (I-797 Approved Petition) - must indicate approved extension of stay or change in status that grants temporary or permanent residency, or indicates that an original, duplicate or renewal Resident Alien card is forthcoming.
      Immigration judge's order granting asylum
      Mexican Border Crossing Card with valid I-94
      U.S. Border Crossing Identification card with valid I-94

      To apply for an original driver license if you are over 18, you will need to do the following:

      Visit a DMV office (make an Appointment(s) for faster service)
      Complete application form DL 44 (An original DL 44 form must be submitted. Copies will not be accepted.)
      Give a thumb print
      Have your picture taken
      Provide your social security number. It will be verified with the Social Security Administration while you are in the office.
      Verify your birth date and legal presence If your current name no longer matches the name on your birth data/legal presence document, see "True Full Name" and "How to Change Your Name" for more information.
      Provide your true full name
      Pay the application fee
      Pass a vision exam
      Pass a traffic laws and sign test. There are 36 questions on the test. You have three chances to pass.

      Note: To allow you sufficient time for testing DMV will not be administering written or audio exams after 4:30 p.m.

      View Comment
    • Anonymous
    • January 22, 2014

    How Did Imperialism Come To Be Associated With Social Darwinism? How did imperialism come to be associated with social Darwinism?

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    1. Reply

      Social Darwinism justified imperialism. Post-Enlightenment, people started turning to science to answer life’s questions and not religion. This new science of social Darwinism purported a hierarchy of beings. This, therefore, allowed imperialists nations to justify their exploitation and presence in other countries of ‘inferior’ peoples.

      View Comment
    • Anonymous
    • February 5, 2014

    What Is Social Psychology?

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    1. Reply

      Social psychology is the scientific study of how people’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are influenced by the actual, imagined, or implied presence of others.[1] By this definition, scientific refers to the empirical method of investigation. The terms thoughts, feelings, and behaviors include all of the psychological variables that are measurable in a human being. The statement that others may be imagined or implied suggests that we are prone to social influence even when no other people are present, such as when watching television, or following internalized cultural norms.

      Social psychologists typically explain human behavior as a result of the interaction of mental states and immediate social situations. In Kurt Lewin’s famous heuristic formula, behavior can be viewed as a function of the person and the environment, B = f(P , E).[2] In general, social psychologists have a preference for laboratory based, empirical findings. Social psychology theories tend to be specific and focused, rather than global and general.

      Social psychology is an interdisciplinary domain that bridges the gap between psychology and sociology. During the years immediately following World War II, there was frequent collaboration between psychologists and sociologists.[3] However, the two disciplines have become increasingly specialized and isolated from each other in recent years, with sociologists focusing on “macro variables” (e.g. social structure) to a much greater extent. Nevertheless, sociological approaches to social psychology remain an important counterpart to psychological research in this area.

      In addition to the split between psychology and sociology, there has been a somewhat less pronounced difference in emphasis between American social psychologists and European social psychologists. As a broad generalization, American researchers traditionally have focused more on the individual, whereas Europeans have paid more attention to group level phenomena.

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    • Brittny
    • February 13, 2014

    How To Gain Social Skills? Now i can be quite shy but its not because i care what people think its because i can’t think of anything to say! When someone makes a joke i have nothing jockinly to say back cause my mind goes blank and even in other situations even if nothing funny is said(btw this is with people i dont really know) and thats why im so quiet. My friends say i talk to much and im funny but idk Anybody have any idea’s what i could do?

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      • Admin
      • February 13, 2014

      It may be relatively simple for you to try and gain social skills, to enact interaction, to improve empathy. You might try and open yourself silently to more friendship. With strangers, or with much talking friends, you can stay quiet or relatively quiet, a person of few words, a wise one.

      Wanting to be informally or professionally together with strangers, you may have to get an appropriate training about how to behave in assemblies. You have your school for that, but school apparently may not be enough. There are particular courses if you would very much like to invest some of your money in that sense. There may be evening courses, or other activities such as sports and or religious meetings, that may be of great help for you to socialize, to learn more how to socialize and to better express or unfold your own meanings.

      Generally in your own environment you might try and be more understanding and affectionately cooperating towards family that might help you to warmly socialize with near or far relatives.

      As love also may be a great way of socializing, you might try and prudently expose yourself to the possibilities of ardent intimacy. In love, not being able or daring enough to conquer somebody, you might allow yourself to sort of being conquered. This would be a legitimate and perhaps much proud way to a needed intimacy.

      From what you write, your own presence and belonging in a social context seems to be secured. Now it seems that you may have to overcome some of your shyness. Through exposing yourself gradually more and more to the social world, you will one day pleasantly proudly discover that you are not shy anymore.

      Most things in life involve gradually learning through diligently doing. Getting more frequently merged in social settings and positively friendly responding to the requirements from those social settings, you will gradually gain more and more social skills.

      Allow me to wish to you some great merry laughs within the warm presence of a glowing social group.

      View Comment
    • Michael Lee
    • February 14, 2014

    Social: Prefix – Psychology Term? Curious. and need this word for my paper, but i kiiiinda cant remeber it =3=
    ive been through my text book, but cant find the word. i know it;s not “social facilitation or social influnce or social inhibition, but it’s somehting like that :'(

    hey do u know the word “social-something” that means people will change how they perform in a test because it is what they think is better or what is expected of them?
    Teacher said it in class but I forgot D:
    *test = especially when taking a likert scale test. this is becuase someone will choose the things they believe are more “correct” or what is expected of them to answer.

    View Comment
      • Admin
      • February 14, 2014

      In social Psychology could the word be: ‘Social Facilitation ‘the tendency of people to perform simple or well-learned tasks better when others are present (2) current meaning-strengthening of dominant (prevalent, likely) responses owing to the presence of others.’

      The word is in this Glossary of terms:

      There are more if needed:,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&fp=2cde344263c0d39e&biw=1280&bih=799

      View Comment
    • Verano Naranja
    • February 14, 2014

    How To Use Social Media? I’m working for a small business and as I want to generate some sales leads I want to use social media… this small company only has a website and not any social media presence, I want to start doing this for the company but I want to do it professionally, can you please recommend what actions to take from here, any website you can recommend, education, ideas, how to do it, etc…?

    Just in general if you can tell me please how it’s done…..

    View Comment
      • Admin
      • February 14, 2014

      Hi Verano.

      In a general sense, Social Medias are websites which not only provide information to you but also interacts with you. The interactions can be of any type- either they can ask you to comment or vote on a particular content or etc. There are many types of social media sites, which are-

      1.Social Networking sites
      2.Social Bookmarking sites
      3.Photo Sharing sites
      4.Video Sharing sites, etc
      In my opinion, to succeed in this area, the steps are-
      1.Create a plan & strategy
      2.Write good contents about your business using any company images, or videos.
      3.Blogging is very important
      4.Create your business profile in top social networking sites like Facebook, Linkedin, Google Plus, Twitter & Pinterest. Add more & more friends & groups in these sites. Discuss your business there, share content & other related issues.

      It will take time & effort. But the above mentioned suggestions will help your business in building an online reputation & make your sales lead.

      View Comment
    • Anonymous
    • February 18, 2014

    How Did Imperialism Come To Be Associated With Social Darwinism? How did imperialism come to be associated with social Darwinism?

    View Comment
      • Admin
      • February 18, 2014

      Social Darwinism justified imperialism. Post-Enlightenment, people started turning to science to answer life’s questions and not religion. This new science of social Darwinism purported a hierarchy of beings. This, therefore, allowed imperialists nations to justify their exploitation and presence in other countries of ‘inferior’ peoples.

      View Comment
    • Adam Rashid
    • February 19, 2014

    What Are The Types Of Social Change?

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      • Admin
      • February 19, 2014

      Social Structural Change
      Thus, one very broad type of social structural change is state reform and democratization. State reform must involve more than just reorganization of the administrative … – Cached

      Social change – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
      Prominent…|See also|Notes|ReferencesSocial change refers to an alteration in the social order of a social group or society; a change in the nature, social institutions, social behaviours or social relations of a society. – Cached.

      Social movement – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
      Definition|History|Types of…|Identificatio…Social movements are a type of group action. They are large informal groupings of individuals and/or organizations focused on specific political or social issues, in other words, on… – Cached.

      Types of Social Change Interventions
      Types of Social Change Interventions The following "types" capture a variety of ways non-violent social change is experienced. These types consciously or … – Cached

      Social change – New World Encyclopedia
      Social change (or Social development) is a general term which refers to change in the … The development of technology is dependent on the presence of other types of social … – Cached

      SOCIAL CHANGE THEORIES . 1) FUNCTIONALISM (relates to … give to them, i.e. interpretive understanding of social action - verstehen. All types …… – Cached

      [PDF] Psychological Types and Social Change Peter Geyer
      Adobe PDF – View as html
      Psychological Types and Social Change A NECESSARY APPLICATION ? Peter Geyer My life outside of power I see myself in the faces Classes, groups and races …

      SOCIAL CHANGE, Russ Long’s Lecture Notes
      Modernization theory views social change as an evolutionary type process that gradually adapted to a changing environment (Ragin and Chirot, 1984:299). – Cached

      What are the types of social change? – Yahoo! Answers
      Best Answer: Reform, Revolution, Coup d’Etat are the first 3 that I can think of – Cached

      Types of Social Change? –
      Social change is mostly brought about through social movements. There are two primary types of social movements. A reform movement seeks to … view more. – Cached


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    • The dude
    • February 27, 2014

    Social Skills? I realised about two years ago I suck at human interaction. I was 16 by that time, now at 18, i feel no progress though i’ve tried.

    I do various stuff I enjoy indoors, but I feel awkward whenever I have to go out/interact with the others. I never had a gf, nor even a dude that enjoyed my presence.

    At some point I looked for hints, and I only lowered my self esteem: maybe I’m too fat, self aware, look weird, jerked off too much, d*ck’s too small, etc.

    I’ve read stuff about influencing people, selfimp books, even books from the seduction community, but I can’t say anything helped me.

    I spend too much time at the computer.

    I’ve tried hanging out with a few people, but I never received any interest. I’ve dropped out of highschool because i missed too much clasess (I made a few wrong choices). I’ll resume it in a few years, but I wish to solve this first. What can I do, really? I was hoping this won’t affect me, but I feel i’m going on a downward spiral.
    Well, I’ve tried resuming it, but there’s really more.

    I sometimes talk to myself. Actually, I think there’s more than once per day. I imagine situations, and I simply do my talking there. I can control this, but it sometimes just slides, i think of things, and i find myself talking in situations.

    my voice is a bit high (i’m 1.90m and ~100kg), and although I can talk, read, or laugh normally (i use to laugh by myself watching comedies), i sometimes stutter while talking or hork when i laugh at occasionas.

    i used to be straight A in grade school, and i’ve been sent to many contests in highschool. as occupations, i’m doing embedded programming for the moment. most of the stuff i know are taught by myself.

    i’ve started to think that because i consider myself a tad smarter, i treat people badly. when i realised this, i started treading them more kindly, maybe too kindly, and i guess both repel. i’m really not sure what to do, or what’s wrong with me.
    more edit: as a kid, my mom used to kick me out of the house, pretty much “to go out and play”. I remember having fun without other kids, instead of joining groups. it happened sometimes, but i left them, and enjoyed either the company of a single kid, or none. speaking of the same domain, my mom organised birthday parties at least three times for me, but no one came. I didn’t feel bad at all, quite the contrary, but I believe somehow it left some scars, since I’m remembering it now.
    Part replies (i can’t get how to reply on topic – guess this isn’t a forum ? ): @colette- I thought of having asperger for a while, but the symptoms don’t match. If by unspoken clues you mean body language, i’ve read several books on it, and it did open my view. I don’t see ‘missing’ any cues before reading them. you’ll have to detail on this. i find myself attracted to projects, but i always seek out new ones, even employ my ideas. i do get bored of them sometimes, but i do my best to finish them. I don’t have any repetitive movements (my eyes move quickly sometimes, under a second, but i guess that’s from too much computer) but i do become fascinated by some ideas or banalities (in movies, for example). but if i don’t find a use for them, i pretty much discard them.

    @Rawr4719: i use yahoo messenger and google talk. i do talk to people over IM, sometimes i even visited them in other cities. but that’s really rare, say about once a year. i don’t know anyone from my city.

    View Comment
      • Admin
      • February 27, 2014

      I was like that too for a while. i lived in an isolated place for awhile and had no social interaction for long time. i moved to a town and started hanging round with a few guys. i used to always say the wrong thing, say something stupid or childish or make an ass of myself. the only way i could change it was my judging ppls reactions. if they laugh or say ”what are you talkin bout” or ” i cant believe u said that” you just eventually learn what not to say and what to say. you’ll only learn these new skills by putting yourself in the social situation. Kind of copy other people to a degree until you find your own identity in your group. As for using books or internet, Micheal Jordan didnt get where he is by reading a bunch of basketball books, so your just gonna have to put yourself out there

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    • Steve
    • April 5, 2014

    Do You Know Any Social Bookmarking Submission Service?

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    1. Reply

      Social Bookmarking Sites sites is capable to create better online presence and proven effective especially for getting backlinks. The URL of the site will be submitted to the top social bookmarking sites.

      If you want someone to make social bookmarking submission for you…You can hire SEO company or purchase SEO services.

      Search they can help you on social bookmarking submissions or make a research about social bookmarking service providers on the internet.

      Hope this helps. =)

      View Comment
    • Anonymous
    • April 24, 2014

    How To Get Rid Of The Social Anxiety Disorder? Im 17 male please help me out, i dont go out i go school but i sit in class with a friend but i just look at my table

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    1. Reply

      Treatments and drugs
      Social anxiety disorder typically persists for life, often waxing and waning. But don’t lose hope. Treatment can help you control symptoms and become more confident and relaxed in social situations.approaches are often used in combination.

      Cognitive behavioral therapy improves symptoms in up to 75 percent of people with social anxiety disorder. This type of therapy is based on the idea that your own thoughts -- not other people or situations -- determine how you behave or react. Even if an unwanted situation won’t change -- you still have to give a presentation to management, for instance -- you can change the way you think and behave in a positive way. In therapy, you learn how to recognize and change negative thoughts about yourself.Cognitive behavioral therapy may also include exposure therapy. In this type of therapy, you gradually work up to facing the situations you fear most. This allows you to become better skilled at coping with these anxiety-inducing situations and to develop the confidence to face them. Relaxation or stress management techniques may be included in your treatment plan. Medication may also be an option.

      Stick with it
      Don’t give up if treatment doesn’t work quickly. You can continue to make strides in therapy over several weeks or months. And remember that finding the right medication for your situation can take some trial and error.For some people, the symptoms of social anxiety disorder may fade over time, and medication can be discontinued. Others may need to take medication for years to prevent a relapse.

      Lifestyle and home remedies
      Although social anxiety disorder generally requires help from a medical expert or qualified psychotherapist, you can try some self-help techniques to handle situations likely to trigger social anxiety disorder symptoms.First, assess your fears to identify what situations cause the most anxiety. Then gradually practice these activities until they cause you less anxiety. You may need to begin with small steps in situations that aren’t overwhelming.

      Situations to practice may include:
      Eating with a close relative, friend or acquaintance in a public setting.
      Making eye contact and returning greetings from others, or being the first to say hello.
      Giving someone a compliment.
      Asking a retail clerk to help you find an item.
      Getting directions from a stranger.
      Showing an interest in others. Ask about their homes, children, grandchildren, hobbies or travels, for instance.
      Calling a friend to make plans.
      At first being social when you are feeling anxious is challenging. As difficult or painful as it may seem initially, don’t avoid situations that trigger your symptoms. By regularly facing these kinds of situations, you’ll continue to build and reinforce your coping skills.

      The following techniques can help you begin to face situations that make you nervous. Practicing these techniques regularly can help you manage or reduce your anxiety.Prepare for conversation. For instance, read the newspaper to identify an interesting story you can talk about.
      Focus on personal qualities you like about yourself.
      Practice relaxation exercises.
      Adopt stress management techniques.
      Set realistic goals.
      Pay attention to how often the embarrassing situations you’re afraid of actually take place. You may notice that the scenarios you fear usually don’t come to pass.
      When embarrassing situations do happen, remind yourself that your feelings will pass, and you can handle them until they do.In addition, be sure to keep your medical or therapy appointments, take medications as directed, and talk to your doctor about any changes in your condition.

      Over time, treatment can help you feel more comfortable, relaxed and confident in the presence of others. In the meantime, don’t use alcohol or illicit drugs to try to get through an event or situation that makes you anxious.

      Some positive coping methods include:
      Reaching out to people with whom you feel comfortable
      Joining a support group
      Engaging in pleasurable activities, such as exercise or hobbies, when you feel anxious
      Getting enough sleep
      Eating a well-balanced diet

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    • Belle_torture
    • April 30, 2014

    Social Psychology?

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    1. Reply

      Social psychology is often conceived to be the study of how individuals perceive, influence, and relate to others. More fundamentally it can be conceived to be the study of how our thought and self-awareness is social in origin (i.e., made possible by language and social interaction). According to Gordon Allport’s classic definition, social psychology is an attempt to understand and explain how the thought, feeling, and behavior of individuals is influenced by the actual, imagined, or implied presence of others. By imagined or implied presence, Allport is suggesting that the effects of social influence are felt even when there are no other people about.

      Social Psychology is usually considered a subfield of either psychology or sociology, though there are differences depending on which discipline we are referring to. Some of these differences are organizational in nature. Psychological and sociological social psychologists tend to publish in different journals. Other differences include the type of processes emphasized by the respective disciplines.

      Psychological social psychologists tend take an interactional approach to human social behavior which emphasizes factors both within the person (cognition, affect, motives, neurophysiology, and personality traits) and the immediate social situation. This form of social psychology is more popular in the United States.

      Sociological social psychologists tend to emphasize processes outside of the person at a more distant macro-level, such as social structure and a more immediate micro-level, such as social interaction. This form of social psychology is more popular in Europe.

      Both include the use of the individual and the group as units of analysis in their research.

      View Comment
    • Anonymous
    • April 30, 2014

    Does Anyone Know How To Overcome Social Anxiety Disorder? I looked up my symptoms on the internet and I think I might have Social or Generalised Anxiety Disorder
    Does anyone know ways in which I can overcome this without seeking medical help?

    View Comment
    1. Reply

      Coping with social anxiety disorder can be challenging. Having social anxiety disorder can make it difficult for you to go to work or school, to interact with other people, or even to visit the doctor. But maintaining connections and building relationships are key ways to help cope with any mental disorder.

      Over time, treatment can help you feel more comfortable, relaxed and confident in the presence of others. In the meantime, don’t use alcohol or illicit drugs to try to get through an event or situation that makes you anxious.

      Some positive coping methods include:

      * Reaching out to people with whom you feel comfortable
      * Joining a support group
      * Engaging in pleasurable activities, such as exercise or hobbies, when you feel anxious. Exercise regularly as this helps burn up stress-related chemicals such as adrenaline while releasing happiness-inducing endorphins.
      * Getting enough sleep

      Natural remedies for overcoming social anxiety disorder symptoms can include alternative treatments such as relaxation and deep breathing techniques as well as herbal and homeopathic remedies which may be very helpful along with psychotherapy.

      As with other psychological ailments, a holistic approach has proven beneficial in treating Social Anxiety, while also incorporating mainstream and complementary treatments along with balanced diet and exercise.

      Taken alone or in combination with psychotherapy, natural remedies for overcoming social anxiety disorder symptoms offer the same benefits as conventional medications, but without the disturbing side-effects and potential for addiction.

      Tailored to suit your individual needs, natural products can help relieve anxiety and calm the negative physical effects of social anxiety disorder. Some well known and commonly recommended natural remedies for overcoming social anxiety disorder symptoms include Melissa Officinalis (Lemon Balm), Lavender and Passiflora Incarnata - to soothe the mind and calm the nerves. Some herbal remedies (e.g. Hypericum perforatum or St John's Wort) have been clinically shown to be just as effective as many of the anti-depressant drugs.

      Taken over time, they can balance brain chemistry and prevent the overwhelming symptoms of anxiety from occurring in the first place.

      You may get more info here

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    • Anonymous
    • May 25, 2014

    Does This Sound Like Social Anxiety? -I often beg my parents to not make me go to parties
    -I always feel like I’m being “watched”.
    -I hate school.
    -I only feel comfortable around family and friends I’ve known for years (before I had signs of anxiety): I’m actually outgoing in those situations.
    -My palms and underarms sweat constantly in a social situation (ex school, or in a conversation).
    -I don’t like to order food in a public situation, because I worry I’ll be judged as fat.
    -I always feel bullied, judged, and talked about.
    -I have no self-esteem, or maybe very little.
    -I constantly criticize myself.

    View Comment
    1. Reply

      Social anxiety is just a label. From what I read about you, it would be the tip of the iceberg. Would you really feel better if you put a name on it? The problem I seem to detect here is that you don’t like yourself very much. And you believe that everyone else feels the same and sees you through the same critical lens. Good news – they’re not. We are all so absorbed with our own selves, we constantly think that others are judging us. It’s like a distorted mirror. If you see someone laugh in your presence, you automatically assume they’re laughing at you. If you see people lowering their voices when you pass by, you think they are criticizing you. Step out of yourself for a minute and realize that people have better things to do than judging you. And most importantly, they just don’t care. Not because they’re cold or indifferent, but because it’s how it works. We only think of ourselves, all the time. We only care about our own social presentation. An easy example to demonstrate that – imagine that you have spilled ice cream on your jeans, a tiny spot somewhere on the leg. Only you know about it, and it’s invisible. But by focusing on it and worrying about it, you will start to behave in a funny way, your facial expressions will be fake, your hands will sweat, you will excuse yourself all the time. People will pick that up, but it has nothing to do with the spot, it has to do with your behaviour. To sum it up – all the bad things you think about yourself are like that ice cream spot. Only you know about them, only you inject negative meaning into them. The moment you choose to carry yourself with an attitude of confidence, everything will change. You will see that people will smile at you. It absolutely does not matter how you look. Don’t waste time thinking it will get better if you’re thinner or taller or smarter. The only thing that matters is that you own yourself, that you accept yourself, right now, just as you are, in any form or shape, the good and the bad. All of you. Own it. How do I know this? I’ve been dealing with the same issues all my Life. I’m glad to report that I’ve learned to accept myself, and, it feels amazing! It’s freedom! You’ll get there, I know you will.

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