If Wal-Mart doesn’t have it
If Wal-Mart doesn’t have it, you don’t need it, right?
Subject: Wal Mart Doctor
One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley, “My elbow
hurts like crazy I guess I’d better see a doctor.” “Listen, Bob, you
don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Stan replies. There’s a
diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten
seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.”
So Bob fills a small jar with his urine and takes it to Wal-Mart. He
deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.Ten seconds later, the
computer ejects a printout: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm
water and void heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.”
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Bob got wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a urine sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and some water out of his favorite fishing hole, just for good
measure. He then went back to Wal-Mart, eager to test the computer. He
deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and waits. In ten seconds
the computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop fishing, your elbow will never get better.
And, as always, thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart
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